he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
