just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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