At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
