My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
