Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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