ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
