Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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