I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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