Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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