I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
