I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
