I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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