I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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