I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
