He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
vagina is talking i cant
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
