And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
