My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Who died my cat blue again?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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