I think I am morally bankrupt
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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