Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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