Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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