Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You ruined the universe
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
