It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
