okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
