I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This baby is an asshole
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
