You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
