So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize