you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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