I'm going to jail i love you
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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