Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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