I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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