I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
