some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
