I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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