all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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