Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
