He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
