I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
