Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
