That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
