Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
