Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
