Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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