birth control should be required to get into college
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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