She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
