idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
