There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
