it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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