I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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