I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize