the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
