u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
