I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How's work?
Spinning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize