Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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