dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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