i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am naked and annoyed.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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