carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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