do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
