Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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